Sabbath-love

i love You.

no matter how tiresome
no matter how stressful
the weeks are:

You are my only strength
the only never-ending
Reason.

i love You.

though sometimes
i seem to love someone else
though sometimes
i forget what it means to me
and what it means to You
most especially.

i love You
though You know my heart
You know the deepest leaven
ever saved
ever kept.

though I know that You know
that sometimes 'we' do not matter
that sometimes i falter
i fall apart
still i end up
inside Your embrace.

i rest in the thought
that You love me.
though sometimes i do not love You
then i go away
and come back
and love You again.

You do not change.
this is my only Rest.

Renaissance

I hurry on
with insanely loud
drumbeats

chanting along
the beat of this
fist-like jewel.

Your face

drizzles like rain
with fire

waiting.

Waiting to be stirred up.

For the life of me,
I have never
oppressed this
kind of ocean before,
or even decided
to bind it with reason.

Finally.

Roaring, kind of
reaching the heavens as I
sing a new song
to my Only One.

Surely I will wait,
until love awakens
when it desires so.

Now the snare repeats
the same dance
of angels---
as I pray to be like
David
still I wait.

I lie in the warmth
of the Almighty's embrace.
Your voice resonates
in the Light He is.

Sing for Him,
while I intercede.

I wait.
I wait
for the outpouring.
For the final stomp
of the foot against
the bass.

Waiting can be so beautiful.
Waiting in His presence.



21 May 2011
Renaissance Convention Center

Not my Ordinary Random Post

This world, full of extra-curricular activities, just want to push me to my limits, to see me break down into tears of helplessness, because the battles inside me just continue to wear me out, and all I could pray for is for the sun to stop setting! Haha! But God--- my God who supplies all my needs--- from my most essential (time, energy, wisdom, strength, His Spirit) to the most mundane (coffee every morning, patience for lost soft copies, etc etc etc), always gives me the right motive to finish all the things He entrusted me.

Lately, my mind seems to wander in endless pursuit for something I am not supposed to have just yet. :(

*speechless already*

The Holy Spirit Experience

When we pray, we address it to the Father. Our prayers then are answered and claimed by the name of Jesus. Most of the time, we commune with God through this procedure. And the Holy Spirit, though we are taught of His role in our lives, could sometimes be only a mere substance to us; could only be known to us as our Helper and Comforter. Beyond that, the Holy Spirit could not be who He fully is in our spiritual lives. The Holy Spirit is a person. He is not just a cool wind or a warm breeze or a white dove or an impersonal being that comes down whenever you call for Him. He is beside you forever (John 14:16). He is God on earth, and He is the Key to your intimacy with Christ and the Father.

However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. John 16:13-14 NKJV

THE GUIDE. Jesus said He is the Truth. When He ascended to Heaven, He left us God’s Spirit to guide us “into all truth.” No wonder the four authors of the Gospel wrote with such conviction- the Holy Spirit guided them. No wonder Paul, though he persecuted Christ in the past, was transformed and renewed by the Holy Spirit in order to write almost half of the epistles in the New Testament. No wonder John the beloved wrote about the future and the Second Coming of Christ with vivid imagery- the Holy Spirit transported him to the actual future. Like them, if we could only allow the Holy Spirit to touch our hearts and minds with His wisdom, we could also receive revelations equal to the glory revealed in the past. For was it not foretold? Even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. (John 14:12 NIV) Jesus needed to go to the Father for Him to send God’s Spirit, and for Him to reveal more of Himself and of the Father!

Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. 1 Corinthians 2:11b NIV

WHATEVER HE HEARS. The Holy Spirit reveals whatever is said by the Father. Jesus even needed the Holy Spirit to execute His mission on earth. He said, The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor. Luke 14:18 NIV During His three and a half year mission, Jesus prayer life was so alive because He needed the Holy Spirit to strengthen Him. Without the Holy Spirit, Jesus would have not won the victory over death. Likewise, we cannot do God’s mission for us if we do not commune with the Holy Spirit regularly. Because whatever the Spirit hears from the Father, He will also speak to us the same.

GLORIFYING JESUS. It is such a mistake that we take the Holy Spirit for granted in our prayers, and most importantly in our life. It is the Holy Spirit that takes Jesus’ fullness and victory and brings it to us. He is the way to knowing Jesus. He is the Bringer of Jesus’ wisdom and power. He is the key to our intimacy with God. Jesus said, God’s Spirit will declare to us all things about Him and the Father. And what a comfort indeed to think that His Spirit is always beside us since we accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior! So whenever we ask the secret of glorifying God in everything we do, the answer is Be filled with the Spirit! Ephesians 5:18b NIV

Can we build a relationship with the Spirit? Yes! To be filled with the Spirit is to speak to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:19-20 NKJV

Today, many people consider it impossible to commune with the Holy Spirit unless we are in a congregation or in the middle of a preaching. But the apostles of Christ assure us that it is real and important that we have fellowship with God’s Spirit! It is a truth that we must always be conscious of, whether we worship in church or shut in our room alone with the Holy Spirit.

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14 NIV

(I have created another blog specifically for my revelations about the Holy Spirit. )

LOTN Young Professionals' Ministry

On April 30, The Young Professionals' Ministry will be having its monthly event at the Lord of the Nations Church, Marikina Worship Hall, 7:00 PM. I am (once again) excited about this. This event is one of the things I look forward to every month. Young men and women convene to have fellowship with one another, and most especially with the Holy Spirit.

Since I joined this ministry, my life started to look on a higher perspective. God used this ministry to change the way I think and feel about the Christian life. God showed me His saving grace through this ministry. I pray that more young Christian professionals would realize that in order to conquer for Jesus, there is a need to have and improve their personal relationship with God. You see, the Young Professionals' Ministry is bound to raise young men and women who will glorify God in everything they do. So how can you glorify God if you do not know Him intimately in the first place? If your intimacy with Him is as shallow as a glass of water, you will always end up thirsty. If all you do is  read the Bible on Sundays and pray as the need arises and worship with a congregation, how possible it is for you to enjoy a private communion with the One who loved you?

Loving God Intimately. This is our desire. To know our Savior. To know His power. To call Him, "Abba Father." To intimately love God, you must invest your time, energy, and your whole life to know Him. Because this is why we are meant to do.

And in this ministry, we desire to conquer the workplace. We desire to see Christian employees and employers. We desire to glorify God through the works of our hands. We desire to live each day with His purpose:

To win souls and make disciples of all nations. Matthew 28:19 NIV

Young Professionals are Young Conquerors.

Regular meet-ups:
Sundays, 6:30 PM after Discipleship Teaching
Tradehall, 2F Starmall
Shaw Blvd., Mandaluyong City

We invite all young men and women (ages 20 and up) to come and join us in experiencing intimacy with God. Kindly look for Hazel or Irene.

Silence

When everything seems so fast, when every day seems to come as if in a passing dream, when all seems lost in a vague afternoon--- I know my purpose, I know Your love... still I ask, what is left of me. My Holy One, tell me again.. Whisper it to me once more... I want to hear the comforting voice of my Master. When all seems to consume my body, when all seems to cripple my faith, when all seems to shake my core--- confirm Your Word once more, Father. You know that with just one touch of Your Hand, with just one smile from Your throne, I will be alright...

Nothing matters when You're here with me...

Words are easy to say... Words can pacify me... But only You can satisfy. My joy is in You... Again I hold onto Your promise. I hold on to the proof of Your grace. I hold on to us... You said You live in me...

And I want You to know that even if days are quick and hours are tight, You still hold my world. Father, I will patiently wait for You... in the cleft of the rock I will stay. Even when my body is weak, my heart broken, my soul in drought---- the more I will wait. Even if it takes all of me... even if it consumes my energy... even if it breaks the heart of me...

This is my prayer in the desert.

Bakit Nga Ba?

Bakit nga ba kapag nakakarinig ng labsong, eh nadadala lagi ang damdamin? Nasu-sweetan ako sa kanila. Nae-encourage (answered prayer ka Ate Cecil! Hehe). Nai-inspire.


Kinilig (talagang kinilig?) ako dun sa status ng dati kong boss (Ms. Lalai). Nakakatuwa talaga ang mga mag-asawa. Sa kanila ko nakikita ang isang salamin ng pag-ibig ng Panginoon. Kung tutuusin, kaya nag-aasawa ang isang lalaki at isang babae ay dahil hindi na nila maisip pa ang araw na mawawala ang pag-ibig nila sa isa't isa. Tulad ng pag-ibig ng Panginoon.


The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. Jeremiah 31:3 NIV


Ganito ang pananaw ko sa pag-ibig. Kahit noon pa. Kaya nga sobra akong nasaktan noon. Kasi hindi ko matanggap na nagmaliw ang pag-ibig niya (haha ang lalim naman!). Kaya pala ganun nalang ang hinagpis ko, kasi, bago pa ko nagmahal ng tao, nalaman kong minamahal ako ng Diyos. Nalungkot ako kasi yung taong nagmahal sakin ay hindi sumalamin sa pag-ibig ng Diyos sa akin. Kaya ayun. Ano pa ba ang aasahan kong kalalabasan?


Ang Pag-ibig na tinalikuran ko, iyon din ang Pag-ibig na sumagip sakin. Tinulungan Niya kong makaahon, at hinilom Niya ang mga sugat ng puso ko. Tinanggal Niya ang mga luha ko sa gabi (woooo). Tinanggal Niya ang galit. Unti-unti, binuwag Niya ang pader na tinayo ko sa paligid ng puso ko. Higit sa lahat, hindi Niya ako hinusgahan.


But he was pierced for our transgressions,
   he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
   and by his wounds we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5 NIV


May Isang nagpapako sa krus. Inako Niya ang lahat ng parusa at kasalanan ng mundo. Isang napakahiwagang biyaya, na kahit habambuhay nating pag-aralan, hindi natin maiintindihan nang lubos.


Siguro (sigurado!), maiintindihan lang natin ito kapag nakita na natin Siya: ang mukha Niya, at ang buong lawak ng pag-ibig Niya.


Ang Diyos na nagmamahal ay ang Diyos na nagpapatawad. Masayang-masaya ang puso ko dahil nakilala ko ang Diyos na ito.


Kaya naman, bakit nakakatuwa tignan ang mga mag-asawa? Ay, hindi ko pa ba nasasagot? He he he.

Taken from His Perspective

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2 NIV)

If there is one thing that I have learned to understand after twenty-two years, it would be God’s perfect will. Today, a friend told me that God takes back things we are not yet ready for, and returns it when we are. My heart disagreed. I believe God is perfect, and His will is perfect. He is holy and just. Because He is perfect, His plans are also perfect. His timing is perfect. When He created the world, its seasons are in perfect order and transition. So what happens when everything in our lives mess up? It is not God’s fault. It is ours and ours alone. We, the imperfect. We, the weak ones. We, the selfish ones. We do not know what is best for us, for we cannot see future implications and effects in a perfect vision. We could only understand what is comprehensible today, and no matter how we think about things, we can never assure ourselves that our lives will work perfectly.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.  "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV)

He is a just God. He perfectly brings about justice in every creature. He would not give us things we cannot handle. He would not give us things that we cannot overcome. He knows if we are ready to encounter a situation, because he knows our capacity as a lone individual. Yet He also knows what we can do when we are with Him.

… You are familiar with all my ways. (Psalm 139:3 NIV)

Why, then, do we fail to handle and to overcome things? Because we do it by our own strength. Because we are not made to endure things all by ourselves. It is our proud and sinful nature which pulls us down. Our God is a loving God. He wants us to seek Him first, so we could know how to get through this life. He wants to be involved, because He knows every consequence of all our deeds. He wants to take our battles and fight for us, and then give us the victory. This is the first step in obeying His perfect will for us.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33 NIV)

More surprisingly, even if we did not ask for it, He already gave us His Son, so whenever we fail, His salvation is always ready.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8 NIV)

The just God is also a loving God. For Him to save us, He laid down the life of the Lord Jesus Christ to be the perfect atonement for our sins. This way, He showed us His love, and He executed justice. Our sins were forgiven. Our debt has been paid.

When we realize this, we can finally see a bigger picture from His perspective. God does this, because He has a reputation to maintain. For His own glory, He will fulfill His perfect will. 

For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this. How can I let myself be defamed? I will not yield my glory to another. (Isaiah 48:11 NIV)

Every perfect plan, every perfect timing, every perfect will of God is centered in glorifying Him. There is no other reason. He loves, He blesses, He punishes, He forgives, to bring glory to Himself, because He is God. 

I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. (Isaiah 43:25 NIV)

As Max Lucado says it, “God exists to showcase God.” He created the earth, not to play with it or make just about anything from our little lives. He created us all for His glory. At first, this is hard to understand. Of course, our minds have limits; it cannot comprehend heavenly things, unless God’s Spirit helps us realize this.

If there is one thing to describe our purpose in this life, it is to glorify God above all other things. Glorify Him in His goodness. Glorify Him in our weakness. Glorify Him in our meek intellect. Glorify Him in His perfect wisdom. Glorify Him in our sufferings. Glorify Him in His comforting Spirit. Glorify Him by seeking and obeying His perfect will. All that is within us must glorify this God.

One amazing thing is that, when we fail to obey Him, He also knows how to save us. He gives us second chances. He makes things work together, because He loves us way too deep that we are left with nothing but complete wonder.

With this God, how can we ask for more? What can we do in exchange? Nothing is enough, but His grace is sufficient. We could only offer our lives: a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to Him. His perfect will is full of favor that we could only stand amazed with His love. He is the treasure inside this body formed out of dust. So let this earthen vessel glorify the God of perfection.

Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. (Psalm 103:1 NIV)

Thank You, Father, for loving me.

Old Enough

Father, I am now twenty-two. And from this point of view, I couldn't believe I have lived this long, yet I have kept only fragments of memories for the past years. I have treasured scenes that keep me smiling up to now, but also, I have hidden inside painful things that still make me cry. But above all these, I am consciously aware that all through out my life, You were there. You are still here.

In the past, I have pretended to be older. Though young by age, I have gone through things I never thought I would experience that early. I was hurt, hit, bruised, in ways no one could ever imagine. You shook me to the core. You broke me in all my self-centeredness. You showed me things way too bright and way too dark for me to comprehend, but still You helped me. You had a purpose. And now, I am twenty-two. Old enough to know who I am.

I am mature enough to decide: I will follow You wherever You go. I will walk with You. No matter what happens, I will seek You in all of Your holiness.

I am strong enough to be here: to stand firm in what You have instructed me to do. To stay focused on You and refusing to look at the people around me. And whenever I feel weak, You will always be my strength.

I am wise enough to choose: Your will instead of my own. To bow down in complete surrender. To realize that without You, I can do nothing. To choose life, to choose You.

I am old enough to say, "I love You, Abba Father." You are my world.You are my everything. I would die without You. I give You my heart, every beat, every hidden thing inside me. All is Yours.

Thank You for this life. Thank You for restoring my soul.

And as I spend more years with You, my cup will forever overflow, because You have been my strong Refuge. My only Portion in this life. You are my Treasure.

I love You, oh, how I love You so...

Forever Smitten by You

Indeed, You have seen me through. Tonight I remember the first time Nanay and Tatay brought me to You: I was a child, innocence evident, uncaring about the concerns of the world. I remember the first name I called You: El Shaddai. Our God Almighty. I remember the first time I danced before You, oblivious to what other people would say. I remember the first time I strummed the strings of my first guitar; whispering love songs only You could hear. I remember the first time my tears fell generously during my first real encounter with You.

I remember how You have captured me, and after all these years, Your love still amazes me. Yes, I have tried to find joy in other places, but never did I find the kind that is only found in You.

I guess our romance started the first time I understood the real meaning of the Cross. I fell in love, BIG TIME, since You revealed to me Your indescribable love. You were and You still are the same God I worship. I grew up, schooled, awarded--- You were there. I got curious, I was blinded, I got trapped--- You were my Rescuer. I was alone, I was broken, nobody wanted me--- You reminded me of how You opened Your arms as wide and as deep as Your love. My life was in complete ruin, but You did not hate me. You were patient. You waited for me to answer Your call. You were ready to embrace me once more, the time I was ready to turn to You.

For the last time, You restored my soul. You fed me with Your abundant love. I grew more and more hungry for You. I knew that I am beginning to know You again.

And You showed me Your glory. You blessed me. You told me who You are. You told me how You feel for me.

Who You are is something my human intellect cannot completely comprehend. Your love is something my heart cannot contain. And everyday, You show me more. You satisfy me with the fullness of Your life, and give me things I do not deserve.

I am forever smitten. You have done that to me, my Lord. You never intended to let me go. There is no turning back for us now, and I am well contented with that.

I want You to know that I love You. I will forever praise You. My heart will forever beat for You. My whole life will glorify You. Will You take a look inside of me? All that is alive within me worship You. My world turns and turns around You. My life is meaningless without You. You, who made my life new. You, who provided peace and joy. You who saved me from myself.

 As the deer pants for streams of water,
   so my soul pants for you, my God. Psalm 42:1 NIV

I will be forever thirsty for You, Abba Father.


Forever Smitten,

Your daughter

Hiling

(Note: Many times I have tried writing poems in Tagalog for the purpose of exercising my skill in written vernacular. I have tried writing about the things around me, the people I meet, the peculiar things in order to sound funny, but most of the time, I fail. But unless my One True Love prompts me to write down what my cup has been running over about, I could not write a Tagalog poem worthy enough to share with my friends. Because unless the words come from a praying soul, I could not write with satisfaction.

I wrote this poem last June 18, 2010.)

HILING

Isang araw
ako ay namulat
dahil ang mga binti'y
pinupulikat, kahahanap
ng pambili ng mailap na
kaligayahan.
Tinahak ang Ayala,
nilibot ang bilihan
upang mainggit lamang
sa mga nakikitang
karangyaan.

Isang araw
may isang kaluluwa;
Nais manalangin
sa lumikha sa kanya:
"Ang aking mga mata'y
nabuksan na.
Nakita ko ang luho,
ang himiga sa kwarta
at lustayin ang magiging bunga
ng aking pagpapagal.
Nguni't narito ako
humihiling---

na alising ang kalayawan
at pita ng sariling laman.
Pagka't ang nais ko

ay Iyong kalakasan;
Ang Iyong mga Kamay
na nagpupunas
ng aking mga luha.
Pagka't Ikaw,
Ikaw ang aking bahagi:
Kaganapan nitong buhay
na Iyo ring pag-aari."

Announcement

yes! I'm going full time!!

today is day one.

Pray for me, guys. :D